The Thing About Scars

Harrison Ford is the ultimate grump—at least in the roles he plays. Think about Hans Solo, Indiana Jones, and one of his most recent roles, the psychiatrist Paul in Shrinking. His characters are ill-tempered, a bit crusty, and often disgruntled. And we can’t help loving them. We love when their hard shells crack open, when their gray clouds yield to rays of sunrise, when their rough edges melt into a soft shoulder to lean on. 

Grumps don’t become grumps without a reason. They often carry some deep hurt or hardened life experience that morphs their personality into armor. They hold people at arm’s length to protect themselves. But we love when the light of redemption shines in their eyes, or when they heal themselves (or us) with some timely words of wisdom. 

(Spoiler warning) In the Season 3 finale of Shrinking, Paul offers his coworker Jimmy—a widower struggling with grief and moving forward in life—some wisdom about the scars everyone carries. He says, “What a waste to reach 42 years without scars. They’re proof of a life fully lived.”

Even as Paul faces his own life-changing future, he counsels Jimmy, suggesting he stop letting his past and his fear of getting hurt define him. He urges him to take risks, stop trying to control everything…and make new scars. 

Our scars mean we tried. Sometimes, we succeed. Sometimes, we lose. But in the end, scars mean we lived. We loved. We gave ourselves to others. Our scars (visible or not) are a diary of every time we put ourselves out there, stepped out of our comfort zone, offered something of ourselves—and persevered, no matter the outcome. And that courage is something to cherish. Especially when it comes to loving another person.

Here’s to love.